Is Doubt A Choice? You Decide, I did.
Picture yourself sipping tea early in the morning while watching the sunrise on a beautiful summer day. Imagining watching your family enjoy nature while basking in the joy of your success.
Yes, that’s where I would like to be, too, but I’m not there yet.
Do you wish you could live your dream life, running a successful business from home? Do you find yourself in that moment when you’re frozen, wanting to move forward but unable to? Deep down, you know that taking action is the next step, but you don’t feel ready or prepared. Are you frustrated with yourself for being unable to make a decision and disappointed for being stuck for so long because of doubt?
Ask yourself: Is doubt a choice or do we have to suffer through it?
I was stuck
Sitting at my dining room table which doubled as my office space. I was surrounded by sheets of paper, full of unorganized ideas, staring out a big window. I had so many ideas, each seemingly good, but which would be great? Which idea would make my dreams come true, bring me success, and get me out of the financial downturn I put us in by not returning to work after having kids? I spent time researching ideas and planning for the future, contemplating the necessary software, potential courses to create, and how to differentiate myself.
I analyzed my skills and asked my family what they thought I excelled at, invested time in taking courses, reading books and researching ideas. Then I even asked AI what someone with my skills would be qualified to do.
I started thinking about how to improve the world by writing down what I was most frustrated with. Brainstorming ways to make things better. However, despite constantly generating ideas, I found myself doubting them. It seemed like there was always someone else who knew more, had a better solution, or possessed a clearer vision.
Over the following months, I would sit at my computer, attempting to work, only to find myself accomplishing very little. I would type for a few minutes, then gaze out the window, questioning what I had written. I’d scrutinize my ideas, finding reasons why they made sense to me and simultaneously why others might disagree. I could criticize all my ideas so well that I would have an idea and convince myself it wasn’t good enough in seconds.
The decision I didn’t want to make
So there I was, 40 years old, kids all in school, and a will to reinvent myself but no progress. I began to question whether I would ever achieve my goals and dreams. After all my time invested but no progress, I was considering the serious possibility of looking for a job. I felt indecisive, frustrated with myself, and overwhelmed with pressure.
The thought of reentering the workforce at 40, after seven years away, seemed daunting. I worried about my age, my responsibilities as a parent, and whether I’d even know where to begin. I desired a job that would allow me to be present for my children when they were sick, to see them off to school, and to be there when they returned. However, even the thought of job hunting became stressful.
What I realized next caught me off guard. I realized the stress of deciding what business I wanted to start at home was just as bad as deciding what job to look for. I was questioning all the same things about both options.
I faced the same doubts with each consideration, consistently finding reasons why I wouldn’t excel or why it wouldn’t be a good fit.
What was really holding me back
That’s when I realized the problem: it wasn’t my ideas but my doubts. My self-doubt had taken over. It’s not that I didn’t have great ideas for myself or that there was no job suitable for me; it was my own uncertainty holding me back. I had convinced myself of failure even before I tried. It didn’t matter what I was thinking; I was telling myself why I couldn’t do it instead of why I could.
I knew negative thoughts could be detrimental to moving forward, but I didn’t realize how far I had let them go. After not feeling successful with my ideas, I began to believe what my doubts were telling me. Once I realized my problem was just a thought pattern, I realized I had to fight it for my own well-being.
The Shift
I shifted my focus from feeling like a failure for not progressing to tackling my doubts head-on. Identifying the problem allowed me to seek a solution. It was a relief to realize that I had developed a habit of questioning every decision I made. Understanding this, I could now work toward changing my mindset.
I revisited my business ideas, surrounded by scattered papers on my dining room table. Each time doubt crept in, I acknowledged it for what it was and consciously pushed it aside.
It wasn’t an easy task; my self-doubt ran deep, requiring discipline to overcome. However, with persistence, I began to make progress. I still grapple with doubt daily, and there are times when it gets the better of me. Yet, knowing that I have the power to control my thoughts makes it easier; I no longer have to succumb to them.
The Truth
Doubt is just a thought, and I have the choice of whether or not I want to believe it.
The journey from feeling stuck to reclaiming control of my life has taught me the power of mindset. I’ve come to understand that it’s not the lack of opportunities or options that hold us back but rather the deceptive grip of self-doubt. By recognizing that doubt is just a thought that we have the power to challenge, we can break free from its disruptive hold.
Every day remains a battle against doubt, and sometimes, doubt wins. However, armed with the knowledge that I control my thoughts, I confront each challenge with renewed resilience. I no longer view doubt as an insurmountable barrier but rather as an obstacle to overcome, proving to myself that I am capable of more than I ever imagined.
Now, I celebrate my failures as a personal success, success for having pushed through my doubt and for moving forward. It is through these failures that we can learn and grow.
Is doubt a choice?
So, if you find yourself in a similar place of doubt and indecision, remember to ask this: Is doubt a choice? Doubt is just a thought, and you have the choice to embrace it or push it aside. Embrace the discomfort, challenge it, and take that first step toward reclaiming your power.
If you’re stuck in that moment; it’s not the end. You have the power. Don’t shy away from discipline and pushing yourself to believe. You should never underestimate the strength within you. You possess the ability to overcome doubt or fear and move forward. Go for it!
Take action now!
- I have a vision board above my office space, it doubles as a task board. On this printable, you will find the beautiful words I posted on my vision board for myself to remind me to keep going. Print it off and choose what words speak most to you!
